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Chapter 1: The God of Death Has a Few Demands
Alice showered quickly and pulled a comb through the knots in her hair before braiding it into two pigtails. She slid on a pair of shorts, grabbed her keys and stuffed them into her pocket. She gave her bed one last longing look before shoving out the door. She wasn’t tired anymore anyways.
Outside, she froze. A huge patch of grass in front of her trailer had been leached of its color.
She looked around, raising and lowering her feet. The grass crunched under her sneakers. It was dead.
Alice had killed it.
“Alice, I don’t think you understand how…”
“Save it Ben,” Alice bit out, “I’m not in the mood. You win. We’ll go to the damn cemetery.”
Desert Hill Cemetery
One Hour Later…
Desert Hill, the Oasis Springs cemetery, had certainly seen better days.
Cemeteries couldn’t keep out the God of Death, and so she simply walked right through the gates, bars and all.
The lock on the gate was a joke, it could be pried open with a pair of pliers or frankly, a determined tug. The wire fence was sagging in some places, making it easy to hop. The neighborhood kids ran in and out of it like they owned the place and at night, the teens in the Renegades club gathered to drink wutaheftabirs that they stole from their parents’ coolers. None of that was a concern for Alice. Cemeteries couldn’t keep out the God of Death, and so she simply walked right through the gates, bars and all.
It was a neat trick, one that would be better if Ben had been the God of Banks. As it stood, Alice gained nothing from her newfound ability.
“God. Of. Banks? Honestly, do you really think there would be a god of something so ridiculous? Money is pretend! Whatever happened to the days of ritual sacrifice? That was the real payment. A God of Ritual Sacrifice would make more sense.”
“Okay Benny. Sure. Whatever you say,” Alice started, and then paused.
“Ritual sacrifice? Are you kidding?”
Then she thought better of the question. Ben would explain the process to her in excruciating detail and she did not need that image in her head right now.
“No. Stop. Don’t explain. I don’t want to know.” Alice shook her head. “What is it that I’m even looking for?”
“Grimm should be in that mausoleum to the left,” Ben instructed as he began to materialize before her eyes. “When you talk with him—”
Alice help up her hands. “No, that guy is an asshole and I’ve had enough today. You wanted to be in the cemetery and now you’re in the cemetery.”
“But, you don’t even want to peek at the list? How will you know how the Harvest works? The selva—“
Alice cut him off again, “Harvest? No thank you. I’m just the transportation. I’m going to go sit on that bench over there and grab a few moments of peace of quiet while you and Grimmy-poo compare notebooks…or whatever it is you do.”
And with that, Alice turned and walked towards the lone tree in the cemetery.
She could hear Ben complaining to himself as he made his way to the mausoleum.
“Compare notebooks? I am a being of terrifying power. Notebooks?!?”
Cemeteries were the only places where she could get a break from him. Something about the energy of the place, coupled with his dominion over it gave him a chance to materialize and walk around. She complained, but the cemetery really was the least annoying of Ben’s requests. Raising the dead actually wasn’t so bad. It was way better than being sent to:
“Cut down a galleon’s worth of wheat for the fall equinox.” (she could never cut down that much wheat, and she was almost always chased off the farm…often with dogs.)
or
“Bring vitality to the wombs of expectant mothers.” (once, the hospital called the cops on her for hanging around the maternity ward looking creepy. Maverick had to come bail her out and she spent months paying him back.)
or
“Herald the joy of the season through toasts with every sim near and far.” (okay, the last one wasn’t so bad but it always gave Alice a massive hangover).
No, the problem with Ben was that he stopped Alice from having any life at all. She flopped down on the bench.
She was 29 and working part-time at the same convenience store job she had since high school. She lived in a trailer parked in the back of her parent’s house. Even when she was being generous with herself, she would still call it living at home. She hadn’t had a boyfriend since the twelfth grade, hadn’t been laid in months, and her friends were…well…no one.
At least not anymore.
Alice closed her eyes, trying to block the painful memory. The truth was, she couldn’t keep anyone close, not even her family.
Alice Martin was dangerous.
Unpredictable.
A straight-up monster.
Monster.
The word echoed in her head over and over again, but there was no Ben to blame it on. She brushed a hot tear from her eye, but gave up and just let the rest fall.
This was her only opportunity to feel sorry for herself without any running commentary from him. She relished the moment.
“I wish my life were different,” she whispered out loud.
And then, just inside her head:
I wish my life were normal.
Comments
17 responses to “Chapter 1: The God of Death Has a Few Demands”
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Wow, what an awesome start!
Love the concept, love the characters, love the writing. It’s already so much fun–can’t wait to see where things go! Poor Alice, carrying around a mouthy, bossy ancient god. At least it’s entertaining to read about. 😉-
Thank you! Haha, yeah I am having so much fun making her life a wee bit miserable!
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I’m really enjoying your story so far! I look forward to the next update 🙂
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Thank you so much! I’m excited for the next few chapters to go up. They were a lot of fun to write.
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This is freakin’ fantastic—I love your style! Definitely going to follow this one.
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Omg thank you so much! I’m so glad you’re having as much fun reading it as I am writing it 🙂
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This had me giggling throughout. 😀 I love our main girl, and her unique problem. Looking forward to what’s next.
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Hey this seems sooooo cool! hes like an imaginary friend! But not. Interesting character… can’t wait to read more!
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Thank you! If imaginary friends had as much attitude as Ben we’d all be in trouble 👏👏👏😂😂😂
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Oh this is fantastic 😂 I’ve been meaning to check this story out, and I’ve got to say the introductory chapter was far more hilarious than I anticipated. I’m liking Alice already, although the god of death (and fertility, wine, rebirth and such 😆) tak3s the cake. I love that he goes by Ben. I can just tell this is going to be one hell of a ride! 😊
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Welcome! I’m glad you started reading. It is a totally bonkers insane ride hahaha and I just wanted someone to enjoy my jokes as much as I do. Oh Ben, he is a freaking character, just you wait…
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I love this. Your writing completely drew me in, and I was giggling over Ben’s antics for half the chapter. The other half was feeling incredibly bad for Alice and now I’m not sure if I like or dislike Ben. Of course, a powerful deity like him probably doesn’t have the faintest clue that he is completely ruining Alice’s life. Or at least, let’s hope he’s clueless about it.
Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do but I’m eager to see where this story leads! =D-
Thank you and man, you are in for a ride! I’m curious to see whether Ben grows on you haha. He definitely makes Alice’s life…interesting.
No, there’s no way an all-powerful deity is so selfish as to only think about themselves! ::cue evil author laughter::
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After 14 chapters of The Strauds, I am FINALLY making my way to The Original story.
My biggest focus, other than the ghostly God of Death inner voice/sidekick is when Alice gets to the cemetery and mentions how easy the lock would be to pick. BUT JUST MENTIONS IT. Look, I know that The Strauds are based on BBD, but now I’m wondering if Alice has a penchant for breaking and entering, or if that was something that is new (in The Strauds) b/c she has the ability to pass through the cemetery. Sitting back and seeing what unfolds…
Dang, first chapter and we get to see Alice’s sister (and read mention of a brother).
Her parents must be really chill about their oldest child working part-time at a convenience store and living (behind) home, considering they’re both very successful in prestigious occupations. They’re either cool parents that care about their kids’ happiness, or they gave up and moved onto the next as their golden child. Considering that Alice showed symptoms of strange behavior in her her teens, it could really go in either direction. Also, this really sets an interesting premises on mental disorders. I know this is all supernatural, but on a deeper level this already seems to be a story about navigating mental illness.
Awesome job, Ferosh. Looking forward to being a passenger on Alice’s journey, or stowaway, much like “Ben” (okay please tell me that his first name is actually Has…. Has Ben/Has Been….Okay showing myself out).
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Hahaha omg welcome! Whew you can see the evolution of my writing on this journey.
Ummm, let’s just say Alice has always had a fast and loose relationship with the law. But also, uh, yeah, the god of death comes right some perks!
Oh man I cannot wait for you to dive into the relationship with Alice and her family. You are identifying some of the tensions really early. But I’ll just say that it’s important to keep perspective in mind. Alice is reading everything from her POV, including her parents.
Hehe stowaway.
Hehe has been.
Oh man, I cannot stop giggling.
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Perspective and POV is a fun tool to fuck around with when a character is narrating 😀 Looking forward to the journey 😀
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“I’m tired. I’m hot as fuck. And I don’t care what you want.” Honestly, such a mood.
Oh god the horrors of being the oldest child.
“Ben, the God of Banks” is giving me strong Eddie Izzard vibes. Jeff, the god of biscuits! Simon, the god of hairdos!
I love this so far ❤️
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