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Chapter 13: Nothing to See Here Folks!
She had hoped that wouldn’t be the answer. Llamas! She was being so stupid. Why had she invited Vladislaus out?
Now, she’d have to make up some excuse. Something better than: “Hey, uh, btw, let’s put the kibosh on this ‘hanging out thing’ because I’m kind of like a death god and the chances of me killing you before I see those teeth in action is actually surprisingly high.”
“Now hold on,” Ben interrupted. “I said you could kill him, not that you would. You can learn to control it.”
Now it was Alice’s turn to sigh. She walked over to the closet so she could grab some things out of her suitcase. “What’s the point? I’m supposed to be trying to win this contest so I can get rid of my powers and become normal right? Vampires aren’t normal.”
“Yes, but, the contest will last for at least three months,” Ben reminded her, “Wouldn’t you rather know how to control it while you’re on television?”
He had a point.
“Nothing crazy right? I mean, all those rituals and rules you’re always telling me about, we’re not covering all of those right?”
“I mean we can’t just jump into it willy-nilly, we’ll at least need to cover the fundamentals—”
“Ben!”
“Just so you don’t get stuck!” he finished quickly.
“And what about me passing out?”
Ben was silent for a moment. “We’ll be sure to work on magic in proportion to your…strength.”
Alice rolled her eyes. In proportion to her strength? Well, it was good to know that even the restrained version of Ben still had his patented arrogance.
“Whatever. Tell me more about this mixer and everything else you did while in possession of my body.”
Ben filled her in on the details and she had to admit, he had done a pretty decent job navigating the world. His packing left a bit to be desired. It was a mix of her regular outfits alongside some club-wear she had never seen before and inexplicably, a ball gown leftover from her cousin’s wedding. She tried on a few different outfits, but finally settled on black pants and a striped sweater.
Ben beamed. “I think it’s a fantastic outfit, if I do say so myself. Just the sort of thing you’d wear if you went out at home.”
“Well, you do say so yourself,” Alice muttered, but she was just giving Ben a hard time. While it was true that she didn’t go out that much and that the closest thing they had to a club in StrangerVille was the 8 Bells Bar; Alice felt confident.
A knock sounded at the door and Alice couldn’t help a squeal of delight as she ran for it. She paused in the livingroom.
“Okay, remember our deal. Get out of here, and no commentary on Vlad or any of his parts.”
“Me? I would ne—“
Alice gave him a warning growl.
“Yes, fineeeee. Being helpful. I remember. I’ll try not to pay attention. There’s a section of your mind that is still trying to remember the alternate names of every protein in the Fanconi Anemia pathway from your high school biology class. I’ll go there.”
“Thank you Ben!”
Alice took a deep breath and wiped her hands on her jeans. She would just be cool right? This was no big deal. It was just the first step on her path towards normal simdom. She opened the door to let them in and immediately stepped back.
Comments
15 responses to “Chapter 13: Nothing to See Here Folks!”
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Oh god. I’m feeling secondhand embarrassment haha!
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LOL I cringed as I wrote it! HAHAHAHA
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Oh. Lawd. Between Alice talking to a floating skull, getting the weather Vladsplained to her, and thinking any sort of social recovery that involved interpretive dance was a good idea, I spent half this chapter wheezing with laughter.
Thank you for the shout-out 😀 (Also: Rad51, the BRCAs, FANCA, FANCB, FANCC, FANCD1, FANCD2, 14 others that you can probably guess, but not FANCH and FANCK for some reason. YEAH BEN HAVE FUN WITH THAT)
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And I forgot:
– All I can think of in response to Vlad saying “you’re wearing that?” is him screaming “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US”
– I’ll be over here bracing myself for the inevitable ‘dancing with death’/’flirting with death’ joke-
Now I really want to make a scene where Vlad is sitting in a lunch room at the popular table. oh no…I just pictured twilight. Oh no. this was an attack on myself.
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Lol, Alice 😂
The outfit she picked is cute! One of my favourite tops in the game. Can’t wait to see how the mkxer goes.
“There’s a section of your mind that is still trying to remember the alternate names of every protein in the Fanconi Anemia pathway from your high school biology class. I’ll go there.” Ahahahaha this is so good! I so have that part of my mind too 😆
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Mine too! That little bit was courtesy of Dolly Llama, it made for such a good joke hahahaha
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Oh my gods I was just about to die with second-hand embarassment there xD she can’t blame Ben for this one, either. Nope, dearie, that one was all you 😂
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I CRINGED WRITING THIS ENTIRE SCENE. I read it again after your comment and I still cringed. Gah, I can’t believe I put her through that.
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So, is Vlad the *punctual* or the *punctural* type? heyyyooo …i’ll see myself out now
(also i’m digging vlad’s asshole-but-wait-is-he-actually-being-kinda-sweet tsundere-ness towards Alice. of course, this was all *before* her magnificent display of “normal sim walking,” so I guess all bets are off now XD)
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This is actually the exact joke that this story needs to help it ascend to the next level LOLOLOLOL
Vlad is a murder-beast, but he’s like…a very besotted murder-beast 🙂
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And now the lusty thoughts turn in Alice’s head. She’s pretty chill for someone that is putting the pieces together that Vlad might be Prince Vlad. Maybe I’m projecting. I would not be chill. I would be on my phone Googling homie’s name. I’m not surprised that she is more intrigued than freaking out about vamp. I would imagine it would be unsurprising, especially since your body is inhabited by the God of Death and you can summon a cowplant (at least with legends/myths you’ve had some time for your brain to process those things at some point in your life. a fucking cowplant though? Unless your kink is Little Shop of Horrors – not to be confused with the porn parody Little Sop of Whores – it’s hard to wrap your brain around a giant carnivorous plant that’s part cow).
I’m going to assume the “pickings were slim” from the clothes Ben packed for Alice. No hate for her shirt, but even she realized she was dressed basic when two hot vampires (cough, DUDES, cough) showed up looking better dressed than Alice. Ben, you’ve been “alive” for centuries and you can’t pack women’s clothes? Yeah, Elmira was right to toss him under a bus. Ben, I’m disappointed.
Oye, Williams’ confusion and yikes to Alice acting a fool to try to save herself from the embarrassment of … idk… her conversing with Ben. Look, she KNOWS their vampires. THEY know she knows they’re vampires. Is Ben forcing her to keep quiet about him or is she just too embarrassed? I assumed she was embarrassed but after her “save” failed, I hope she can just talk about her uh… situation, at least with people that seem the least likely to think she’s cr– the “c” word.
Regardless of her struggle and even feeling unable to share what’s going on with individuals most likely to understand or be compassionate about her circumstance, this was HILARIOUS to read. Your humor really shines through with Alice’s vulnerability, and it was my favorite part to read. I love humor, and I love how relatable Alice is (to me and my spazzy self anyways). <3
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Alice is very chill! But you hit the nail don’t he head: I mean she’s got the God of Death stuck in her head so a vampire is just some nice confirmation that she’s not out of her mind. Plus, when you spend some more time with Alice’s family, you’ll understand why she takes a lot of this in stride LOL.
(WHY DID I NOT MAKE A COWPLANT KINK JOKE!?!?!?!?!?!? Sigh. I lacked your guiding light in this story)
Ben is wearing a raggedy set of robes and old boots. Fashion is not his strong suit. Also, Alice doesn’t really go anywhere so yeah, options were limited.
The way you have gone Team Elmyra just warms my heart LOLOLOL.
Ooohh yes, you’ve picked up on Alice’s insecurity. I don’t think its just that she wants to keep it secret, she also doesn’t have a lot of practice interacting with people without the help of a lot of alcohol or drugs. She is awkward!
And that last part of your comment means so much. I mean, this was early in my simlit writing time so I was still learning a lot about character voice and trying out jokes. I know I talk about Vlad a lot but Alice is just my baby, in part because she is vulnerable and a bit of a mess but trying her goddamn best <3
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LOL it did NOT click in my head about Ben’s wardrobe choice until you mentioned it. I just accepted old god = old fashion style. Yeah, he could totally be rocking a YSL suit and he chooses a monk’s? robe. I’ll bet it’s never been laundered. Now I’m thinking about Ben’s underwear and how long he’s been wearing that. God help me.
But you’re right. Ben is fashion clueless. I mean there’s a lot of things he’s clueless about, but fashion is one at the top of the list.
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oh god alice get it together 🙈
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